As the year draws to a close, as the curtains fall upon the stage of our lives in this act, I suddenly get this strange mix of feelings. It's like having applause and yet with a few sporadic but prominent boos making their way into my ears.
It's about Loss and Gain.
It feels like I'm about to lose something. It could be anything - A precious item, an essential thought, an irreplaceable person. More often than not I feel it's the last one, and it worries me.
Yet on the other hand, the feeling that I'm going to gain something as well. Things that I have absolutely no idea about. Things that could be completely new, yet even better than what I've lost.
So many possibilities ran through my mind. some enticing, of course, like the loss of a friend and the gaining of a lover. Like the loss of a method and the gaining of an idea. Like the loss of even more time and money and the gaining of a soul in the kingdom of God.
And even as this strange feeling continues, I think the only thing that I can really do is this.
Trust God.
Trust Him that things will work out. Trust Him that He will actually bless me with what I want. Trust Him that He will make the impossible possible. (The second was the hardest, really.)
What will I lose, and what will I gain?
I have no idea....But one thing I know I will never lose.
God's love.
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