Disappointment

It's not like I keep hearing them, or that everyone around me does it.

What am I talking about? This simple notion, or perhaps verbal sentence:

"I'm disappointed in you."

Sorry to disappoint, then. 

There are certain things people can sense too, like whether you are upset or disappointed in them or not. Of course, not everyone has that ability.

It's not the amount of times the statement was spoken, or thought, or typed out, but rather the ratio in which it stands out compared to a firm, sincere and (maybe sometimes) consistent form of encouragement.

I can't remember the time when I last saw "You can do it!" or "Don't give up!" or even "I'll support you!" (The last being with actions, of course).

And I'd be lying if I say those three statements originated from me often.

So that's the point, isn't it? That every single human has an inherently negative spirit and needs to replace it with a positive one, though the process of doing so is often sophisticated and sometimes painful. 

Even people with a religion. 

Yes, I've upset some people. Yes, I know I'm disappointing, thank you very much.

Please don't keep harping on the fact. Or has patience dissipated somewhere into the clouds and rained down as droplets of transformed impatience and judgment?

I hope not. Rather, I try to choose not to believe that it is so. 

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Am I disappointed? 

Of course I am, but not offended, certainly. The question is with what. 

People? Check.

Concepts and ideas of being in a second family that should be more caring than this? Check.

Self? Double check.

Even with God, I suppose. 

But perhaps He already had a purpose in mind when I'm going through all these....things. 

Have you imagined the pain plants must have felt when they are uprooted or their branches cut off?

Think about it - it's like having your limbs chopped off, or being ripped away from familiarity and tossed somewhere alien. 

But sometimes it has to be done, especially when those branches are infected with a disease, or the land has become contaminated that drawing in any sustenance from it only serves to cause the entire plant to deteriorate. 

Sound serious doesn't it? Being plants, most of them can't move. But being humans, we can. We also have knowledge and a small amount of wisdom, no matter how old or young you are.

So here's the catch.

I KNOW I NEED TO CHANGE. 

And I know every reminder is done with goodwill, no matter how much judgment or disappointment follows it. 

But tell me something I don't know. Show me something I don't often see. 

Too much water or sunlight can also kill the plant, by the way. I think that's what one calls "Doing the right thing with the wrong method".

But enough of that. Perhaps I'm wrong about everything again, or that people are the victims of different subcultures that determine how they act, react and think. 

After all, I am a victim of that myself.