Don't know if I got the spelling right, but that was the Phrase/Word of the Week for me.
By the way, it's in German, and what it means is one, simple word that most of us should know, yet have to be constantly reminded of it.
Empathy.
All credit goes to Jayeel, my tutor for this XD2101 (Study of Religions) for bringing it up.
So simple a word, with around 3-4 syllables, yet so powerful.
Empathy.
It made me realise one thing - While we who have a religion, worship the divine(s) (Note: For me it is singular as there is only one absolute Being) always consider others to be so critical of us and so apathetic without asking to understand, don't we ourselves need to look in the mirror first before pointing that finger at others?
After all, the Word always talks about the 'worldly' and their 'worldly ways'.
And most of us, people who are highly educated, faithful and generally sensible tend to group them into one group ourselves.
University students, educators, bankers, scholars, businessmen....People who seem to have a certain pedigree.
Of course, not all think like that, and I'm thankful for that.
But this leads to another thought.
If we (or rather, I) are so reluctant to share our faith, talk about it and discuss it seriously with people who aren't in a religion, what does that tell them about us?
What does that tell you about YOU?
What does that say about our faith in the King?
I'll make it known that I'm not specifically pointing a finger to any single individual, but am only speaking from the experiences I've had with people.
I could write an essay about this, albeit without the jargon and academic terms and phrases, but really, I've been thinking....And was totally shocked and agitated at the result of it.
......No, seriously, I DO think about important things once in a while, okay?
I'll let the rest be a reflection (actually, I'm just being lazy. Won't provide any answers to that!!!) for those who read this blog...If there's anyone reading.
We are all striving towards perfection.
But if perfection seems too far away for some of us...
...Let's at least start with "Versetehen".
Saturday, January 29, 2011
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Chronicles of Iridescence, Chapter 112: Learning and Versus
Had a rather interesting lecture on the concepts of learning. Stuff like Cognitivism, Constructivism and Behaviorism somehow allowed certain methods of teaching and certain rationale behind how each person learns or is unable to become much clearer.
Before you start scratching your heads on the terms used, let me explain in simple terms.
Cognitivism = Changes how information is represented for a person in his mind. In teaching, it is to encourage people to keep thinking about information and then digest it for their own usage.
Behaviorism = Change in behavior by learning. in teaching, it is done via a method which conditions the student by consistent and immediate feedback about what he/she is doing. Most commonly done through a reward/punishment system.
Constructivism = Construction of knowledge through experiences. In teaching, it is meant to allow a freer style of teaching where the student learns by himself with minimal instruction from the teacher.
And looking at the world at large today, it seems that the most ideal concept (constructivism) isn't in play, and the most prevalent are the top two.
It is easy to ask why and explain the faults, but I realise even as I watched the videos on professors or scholars talking about this problem, they are unable to give a concrete solution for it. The origins? Check (Industrial Era, where students are trained literally to pass tests and work in roles already assigned for them). The problems? Check (Students are stifled in their learning, always listening to what the educator says and learning what he/she says, taking in his/her opinions on the subject as well).
Solutions?
None. Rather, there were suggestions more than solutions. Considering the module of mine that I'm taking is called 'E-Learning', the suggested solution is simple - Proper usage of technology.
Yet, what is proper usage of technology? How can you teach youths nowadays how to use technology properly? What is the concept of being 'proper'?
Not that I'm being cynical, but truth is, there is an increasing number of youths and even young adults making use of technologies to do unsavory....things. Or simply doing tasks that don't bear much fruit in terms of usefulness.
Yet, the idea that there are people out there who advocate Constructivism is a refreshing concept. Perhaps one can say that it was the delicious spring water that flowed down from a mountain top to the thirsty deer in me.
Active learning.
Something for my educator friends to consider, even if they don't exactly have the power to change the entire structure of education right now. =)
-----------------------
I hate comparisons.
Earlier, I made a resolution to think positively for the first two weeks. If that fails, I'll start doing something a little more to make that happen.
I nearly defaulted on that resolution today.
While I was supposed to wait for a friend (who in the end, did not reply nor turn up, unfortunately), I was greeted by a friend who passed by and....well, greeted me in a cheeky way. After that, a troupe of students came out from the seminar room he exited from, many of them I was familiar with.
Mostly 3rd years. All New Media majors.
Then the cruel fact struck me.
I was not good enough to be in that module they were taking.
To be honest, most of the fault lies with me. I wasn't hardworking enough, but somehow or other even when I worked really hard, nothing seemed to go right. Things happen, and grades dipped.
I'm utterly dejected to say that my grades were terrible and so terribly ashamed to say they were quite a ways below average.
My first reaction at that time? A tightening of the heart, and a voice in my mind saying that one of those students there could have, should have, been me.
The bitter pill of disappointment was really hard to swallow. Some of those people there didn't really know what they wanted after graduation. Some of them were graduating this semester.
But for me....
It is always difficult telling someone your circumstances, even though I managed to pass off as being nonchalant about it (I think).
There IS truth in how I've planned it out already, though. Perhaps I could take heart from that.
However, when it came to realising all my peers were higher scorers than I am, it made me feel a *little* smaller.
....End of story, with me going emo again?
Not quite, this time.
There was something that I had that some (not all, because the dude who greeted me was a swell guy and had this as well) of them did not.
The King.
Had I not been a Subject of His, I'd probably be thinking suicidal thoughts right now.
Had I not been praying fervently for the past few days, I'd be berating and cursing myself right now.
Had I not been hoping and believing in him for certain things, I would be doubting the sudden changes that occurred right now.
So I thought: Perhaps this is all part of His plan.
Even the difficulties in just getting a simple tutorial....
Perhaps it was all meant to build me up.
Even the sudden change that happened sometime back that got me going around in circles.
The King is good.
Finding myself to be a little more passionate about life, about people, about hope, about relationships.
Finding myself to be a little more resilient and more in control, one step closer to being a real man, perhaps.
Maybe one day, I won't ever need to compare ever and be that confident Man I've always dreamed of being, fulfilling the promises I made as well as basking in the blessings promised to me.
Before you start scratching your heads on the terms used, let me explain in simple terms.
Cognitivism = Changes how information is represented for a person in his mind. In teaching, it is to encourage people to keep thinking about information and then digest it for their own usage.
Behaviorism = Change in behavior by learning. in teaching, it is done via a method which conditions the student by consistent and immediate feedback about what he/she is doing. Most commonly done through a reward/punishment system.
Constructivism = Construction of knowledge through experiences. In teaching, it is meant to allow a freer style of teaching where the student learns by himself with minimal instruction from the teacher.
And looking at the world at large today, it seems that the most ideal concept (constructivism) isn't in play, and the most prevalent are the top two.
It is easy to ask why and explain the faults, but I realise even as I watched the videos on professors or scholars talking about this problem, they are unable to give a concrete solution for it. The origins? Check (Industrial Era, where students are trained literally to pass tests and work in roles already assigned for them). The problems? Check (Students are stifled in their learning, always listening to what the educator says and learning what he/she says, taking in his/her opinions on the subject as well).
Solutions?
None. Rather, there were suggestions more than solutions. Considering the module of mine that I'm taking is called 'E-Learning', the suggested solution is simple - Proper usage of technology.
Yet, what is proper usage of technology? How can you teach youths nowadays how to use technology properly? What is the concept of being 'proper'?
Not that I'm being cynical, but truth is, there is an increasing number of youths and even young adults making use of technologies to do unsavory....things. Or simply doing tasks that don't bear much fruit in terms of usefulness.
Yet, the idea that there are people out there who advocate Constructivism is a refreshing concept. Perhaps one can say that it was the delicious spring water that flowed down from a mountain top to the thirsty deer in me.
Active learning.
Something for my educator friends to consider, even if they don't exactly have the power to change the entire structure of education right now. =)
-----------------------
I hate comparisons.
Earlier, I made a resolution to think positively for the first two weeks. If that fails, I'll start doing something a little more to make that happen.
I nearly defaulted on that resolution today.
While I was supposed to wait for a friend (who in the end, did not reply nor turn up, unfortunately), I was greeted by a friend who passed by and....well, greeted me in a cheeky way. After that, a troupe of students came out from the seminar room he exited from, many of them I was familiar with.
Mostly 3rd years. All New Media majors.
Then the cruel fact struck me.
I was not good enough to be in that module they were taking.
To be honest, most of the fault lies with me. I wasn't hardworking enough, but somehow or other even when I worked really hard, nothing seemed to go right. Things happen, and grades dipped.
I'm utterly dejected to say that my grades were terrible and so terribly ashamed to say they were quite a ways below average.
My first reaction at that time? A tightening of the heart, and a voice in my mind saying that one of those students there could have, should have, been me.
The bitter pill of disappointment was really hard to swallow. Some of those people there didn't really know what they wanted after graduation. Some of them were graduating this semester.
But for me....
It is always difficult telling someone your circumstances, even though I managed to pass off as being nonchalant about it (I think).
There IS truth in how I've planned it out already, though. Perhaps I could take heart from that.
However, when it came to realising all my peers were higher scorers than I am, it made me feel a *little* smaller.
....End of story, with me going emo again?
Not quite, this time.
There was something that I had that some (not all, because the dude who greeted me was a swell guy and had this as well) of them did not.
The King.
Had I not been a Subject of His, I'd probably be thinking suicidal thoughts right now.
Had I not been praying fervently for the past few days, I'd be berating and cursing myself right now.
Had I not been hoping and believing in him for certain things, I would be doubting the sudden changes that occurred right now.
So I thought: Perhaps this is all part of His plan.
Even the difficulties in just getting a simple tutorial....
Perhaps it was all meant to build me up.
Even the sudden change that happened sometime back that got me going around in circles.
The King is good.
Finding myself to be a little more passionate about life, about people, about hope, about relationships.
Finding myself to be a little more resilient and more in control, one step closer to being a real man, perhaps.
Maybe one day, I won't ever need to compare ever and be that confident Man I've always dreamed of being, fulfilling the promises I made as well as basking in the blessings promised to me.
Sunday, January 23, 2011
Chronicles of Iridescence, Chapter 111: Wedding
Attended a great wedding today.
Weddings are sometimes and often noted for the extravagance, especially for people who are more well-off than most. Yet this one, despite it being modest, was equally, if not better, in terms of warmth and the feeling of happiness.
One of the most amazing things they can do, of course, is bring old faces back. People who you have never seen for a long time, and you suddenly realise how glad you are to see them, that there seems to be no end of topics to talk about and how much you miss/pine for them when the festivities end.
Another, of course, is that it brings out surprises. Had a very, very little surprise (perhaps to most people, it would seem that way). But for me, it was pleasant, and that alone is good enough.
While it may jolly well be because the mood of the event provided a possibly logical reason that the surprise came, it was still good. The surprise came, and that was enough.
Even if it doesn't happen again, of course, it was still enough.
It also got me thinking - All the friends, the 20-somethings who are single and unattached, or have are at least attached but not considering engagement yet...When will it be their most blissful day of their lives?
When that day comes, if they are my close friends, I want to be a part of the preparation and be there to see them happy and blissful.
------------------
Mine? It might take a while.
The concentration will be on self-improvement again, now that I've found my legs to stand resolutely at where I should be standing, THEN move quickly to be an even better man AND move swiftly but carefully enough to....You know, the thing guys do when they are serious about a relationship. Starts with a C, if you are still Confounded.
Anyway, that's that.
All the best and may you always be happy, Kelvin and Angel!
Weddings are sometimes and often noted for the extravagance, especially for people who are more well-off than most. Yet this one, despite it being modest, was equally, if not better, in terms of warmth and the feeling of happiness.
One of the most amazing things they can do, of course, is bring old faces back. People who you have never seen for a long time, and you suddenly realise how glad you are to see them, that there seems to be no end of topics to talk about and how much you miss/pine for them when the festivities end.
Another, of course, is that it brings out surprises. Had a very, very little surprise (perhaps to most people, it would seem that way). But for me, it was pleasant, and that alone is good enough.
While it may jolly well be because the mood of the event provided a possibly logical reason that the surprise came, it was still good. The surprise came, and that was enough.
Even if it doesn't happen again, of course, it was still enough.
It also got me thinking - All the friends, the 20-somethings who are single and unattached, or have are at least attached but not considering engagement yet...When will it be their most blissful day of their lives?
When that day comes, if they are my close friends, I want to be a part of the preparation and be there to see them happy and blissful.
------------------
Mine? It might take a while.
The concentration will be on self-improvement again, now that I've found my legs to stand resolutely at where I should be standing, THEN move quickly to be an even better man AND move swiftly but carefully enough to....You know, the thing guys do when they are serious about a relationship. Starts with a C, if you are still Confounded.
Anyway, that's that.
All the best and may you always be happy, Kelvin and Angel!
Saturday, January 22, 2011
Chronicles of Iridescence, Chapter 110: Dream
Those dreams again, revive certain hopes.
Yet after another enlightening talk with someone close to me, I realise that sometimes giving up is a better option.
Rather, let me rephrase that. Giving up for now is the best option.
That's what the King tells me too.
Perhaps I wasn't ready, and I keep realising that perhaps I was never ready in the first place.
But the hope was placed in me for some reason, and it will never be for something terrible.
For the thoughts my King has of me are good thoughts, not of evil.
Even the tough start I had...It was probably ordained. They were probably, in fact, the answers to some of my prayers that even I have forgotten.
Speaking of which, those dreams probably serve as a reminder, for I once recalled asking my King to send His imperial edicts to me lest I myself forget what I was hanging on for and what I really wanted but could not keep thinking about it lest it becomes a silent torture.
It may not be so clear, but the feeling of reassurance.
It's starting to come back to me now.
Yet after another enlightening talk with someone close to me, I realise that sometimes giving up is a better option.
Rather, let me rephrase that. Giving up for now is the best option.
That's what the King tells me too.
Perhaps I wasn't ready, and I keep realising that perhaps I was never ready in the first place.
But the hope was placed in me for some reason, and it will never be for something terrible.
For the thoughts my King has of me are good thoughts, not of evil.
Even the tough start I had...It was probably ordained. They were probably, in fact, the answers to some of my prayers that even I have forgotten.
Speaking of which, those dreams probably serve as a reminder, for I once recalled asking my King to send His imperial edicts to me lest I myself forget what I was hanging on for and what I really wanted but could not keep thinking about it lest it becomes a silent torture.
It may not be so clear, but the feeling of reassurance.
It's starting to come back to me now.
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Chronicles of Iridescence, Chapter 109: Nice
Things have probably come to a point where I really need someone to tell-no, reprimand me and DEMAND that I stop being too nice.
Come to think of it, I probably have been for the CORS bidding (For those who don't know or have forgotten, CORS (Centralised Online Registration System) is a system by which I bid for my modules in NUS), though things look like they might turn out fine.
Even though that was after I made a few calls.
But in general, I was...acting myself. Didn't 'bang table', didn't 'make demands', didn't tell the staff about my situation in a way that would take them either on a guilt trip of mishandling the 'future of a graduate student' or in a case where things are being grudgingly done.
The question, though, was if I had been a little more....'not so nice', could I have gotten things done sooner and more effectively?
Banging tables and flipping the wrong switches of people aside, that translates into being more assertive, more driven, more...passionate, even.
But my experiences with the King has taught me to be patient with everything. For example, telling Him that I want this done NOW isn't going to get it done now.
It works. Most of the time things come and happen, but they happen on a last-minute basis.
Maybe more assertiveness is in order.
The prospect is scary, though, because it can mean imposing your will and your intentions on others, however mild it is.
What is so frightening about it is the possibility that you can take it overboard and become self-centered, or be mistaken for being self-centered by others who do not really know what's going on.
Still, maybe it doesn't hurt to try?
After all, even if everyone in the world misunderstands or simply doesn't care about what I do, at least the King does.
Come to think of it, I probably have been for the CORS bidding (For those who don't know or have forgotten, CORS (Centralised Online Registration System) is a system by which I bid for my modules in NUS), though things look like they might turn out fine.
Even though that was after I made a few calls.
But in general, I was...acting myself. Didn't 'bang table', didn't 'make demands', didn't tell the staff about my situation in a way that would take them either on a guilt trip of mishandling the 'future of a graduate student' or in a case where things are being grudgingly done.
The question, though, was if I had been a little more....'not so nice', could I have gotten things done sooner and more effectively?
Banging tables and flipping the wrong switches of people aside, that translates into being more assertive, more driven, more...passionate, even.
But my experiences with the King has taught me to be patient with everything. For example, telling Him that I want this done NOW isn't going to get it done now.
It works. Most of the time things come and happen, but they happen on a last-minute basis.
Maybe more assertiveness is in order.
The prospect is scary, though, because it can mean imposing your will and your intentions on others, however mild it is.
What is so frightening about it is the possibility that you can take it overboard and become self-centered, or be mistaken for being self-centered by others who do not really know what's going on.
Still, maybe it doesn't hurt to try?
After all, even if everyone in the world misunderstands or simply doesn't care about what I do, at least the King does.
Sunday, January 16, 2011
Chronicles of Iridescence, Chapter 108: Good bye
Farewell, Eros.
Or at least that's what I want to say.
In truth, it feels so contradictory, believing that you can get anything you want by abiding in Him, yet no longer believing that mutual love is ever going to happen.
Perhaps this is a good thing? After all, a little bit of reminiscence yielded a little fact that I haven't discovered by myself, and perhaps answered plenty of my queries as to why things felt so confusing.
A natural, born loner who loves people.
Not just love in the 'Eros' meaning, but love as in...Well, care, be concerned about the welfare of others...That sort of thing.
Maybe that's why there always seems to be a wall around me that people wouldn't voluntarily engage in conversation, resulting in a confused conclusion about whether I had done something wrong or simply behaved strangely (Well, I WAS a little eccentric in the past).
------------------------
Good bye, Eros.
Technically speaking, it's my job to ensure the prospect remains.
You can only do it for yourself and nothing else more, but when I see others teasing them about their own prospects AND supporting them, one can't help but feel a little...envious?
Not that there was a complete absence of support, no...But it ended rather quickly, I think.
Just like my conversations - Awesome start, but terrible consistency. Good beginning, crappy ending.
Now you know why I no longer like to talk as much.
Or it could simply be a case of needing to step out of my tent.
Notice, though, I didn't say 'Good riddance' or a simple 'Bye'.
A 'Good bye' means that something good has came out of it.
To be honest, I prefer a 'See You Again' rather than a farewell.
Because He said it is temporary.
Till that time comes, though.....Eros will probably be out of my life...
Or at least that's what I want to say.
In truth, it feels so contradictory, believing that you can get anything you want by abiding in Him, yet no longer believing that mutual love is ever going to happen.
Perhaps this is a good thing? After all, a little bit of reminiscence yielded a little fact that I haven't discovered by myself, and perhaps answered plenty of my queries as to why things felt so confusing.
A natural, born loner who loves people.
Not just love in the 'Eros' meaning, but love as in...Well, care, be concerned about the welfare of others...That sort of thing.
Maybe that's why there always seems to be a wall around me that people wouldn't voluntarily engage in conversation, resulting in a confused conclusion about whether I had done something wrong or simply behaved strangely (Well, I WAS a little eccentric in the past).
------------------------
Good bye, Eros.
Technically speaking, it's my job to ensure the prospect remains.
You can only do it for yourself and nothing else more, but when I see others teasing them about their own prospects AND supporting them, one can't help but feel a little...envious?
Not that there was a complete absence of support, no...But it ended rather quickly, I think.
Just like my conversations - Awesome start, but terrible consistency. Good beginning, crappy ending.
Now you know why I no longer like to talk as much.
Or it could simply be a case of needing to step out of my tent.
Notice, though, I didn't say 'Good riddance' or a simple 'Bye'.
A 'Good bye' means that something good has came out of it.
To be honest, I prefer a 'See You Again' rather than a farewell.
Because He said it is temporary.
Till that time comes, though.....Eros will probably be out of my life...
Sunday, January 9, 2011
Chronicles of Iridescence, Chapter 107: In Between
The ham in the sandwich.
The patty in the burger.
One foot in the realm of the living and the dead.
One foot in the realm of affirmation and denial.
Feels like it's been a life like that, been a situation like that, been a dream like that.
I'm happy, of course, that people remembered enough to ask me how things are, but wondering if I should superimpose my supposed principles of others by telling them to stop.
It's only when you choose to give up certain things do you realise how important they really were, and still are.
So many things, from inside and outside, telling me to cling on or to give up.
My instincts are rarely wrong.
But then, my King is NEVER wrong....Though He isn't always clear the first time round either.
He didn't say how long, or whether it is forever dead, or if it is no longer for me.
Just a simple, 'Give it up for now'.
Because of this, though, it's teaching me how to look at my own values, my own convictions and my faith towards Him.
What He promised will come to pass....
....IF only we abide in His Word, and it abides in us.
------------------------
"You don't have to be incredible. Just be credible."
Such a powerful message for believers.
Very often we try to showcase our talents, our knowledge, our abilities to the best we know how with the intention to impress.
Like a male peacock, the males would love to show off our knowledge of certain things, our physique (a duh-ish fact), our wisdom, our knowledge, our humor and anything that we can do to get the attention of the female peacocks we are attempting to impress.
Same goes for females, though the assumption for both sexes are made on a general basis. Yet there is definitely some truth in it if one observes how people act. The change of hairdo in its style, the change of clothing in its color, the difference in the way one talks to another as compared to 'normal' friends...
Subtle, little changes.
But in our attempt to be incredible, sometimes we forget the one who gave all these to us - Money, clothes, food, intelligence, beauty, charisma, family, friends, love.
And we try to forge ahead by trying to impress, sometimes eventually falling flat on our own faces and then we turn to Him and ask the standard 'Why' questions.
Why did I fail? Why am I attracting the 'wrong' type of people? Why does my life seems like its spiraling out of control?
We forgot about being credible, about giving thanks to the one who gave us everything. The challenges, the friends, the love, the holidays, the good and smooth life....Everything.
Perhaps it's time for us, time for me to start being more credible for an incredible King rather than try to be something incredible ourselves by our own strength.
The patty in the burger.
One foot in the realm of the living and the dead.
One foot in the realm of affirmation and denial.
Feels like it's been a life like that, been a situation like that, been a dream like that.
I'm happy, of course, that people remembered enough to ask me how things are, but wondering if I should superimpose my supposed principles of others by telling them to stop.
It's only when you choose to give up certain things do you realise how important they really were, and still are.
So many things, from inside and outside, telling me to cling on or to give up.
My instincts are rarely wrong.
But then, my King is NEVER wrong....Though He isn't always clear the first time round either.
He didn't say how long, or whether it is forever dead, or if it is no longer for me.
Just a simple, 'Give it up for now'.
Because of this, though, it's teaching me how to look at my own values, my own convictions and my faith towards Him.
What He promised will come to pass....
....IF only we abide in His Word, and it abides in us.
------------------------
"You don't have to be incredible. Just be credible."
Such a powerful message for believers.
Very often we try to showcase our talents, our knowledge, our abilities to the best we know how with the intention to impress.
Like a male peacock, the males would love to show off our knowledge of certain things, our physique (a duh-ish fact), our wisdom, our knowledge, our humor and anything that we can do to get the attention of the female peacocks we are attempting to impress.
Same goes for females, though the assumption for both sexes are made on a general basis. Yet there is definitely some truth in it if one observes how people act. The change of hairdo in its style, the change of clothing in its color, the difference in the way one talks to another as compared to 'normal' friends...
Subtle, little changes.
But in our attempt to be incredible, sometimes we forget the one who gave all these to us - Money, clothes, food, intelligence, beauty, charisma, family, friends, love.
And we try to forge ahead by trying to impress, sometimes eventually falling flat on our own faces and then we turn to Him and ask the standard 'Why' questions.
Why did I fail? Why am I attracting the 'wrong' type of people? Why does my life seems like its spiraling out of control?
We forgot about being credible, about giving thanks to the one who gave us everything. The challenges, the friends, the love, the holidays, the good and smooth life....Everything.
Perhaps it's time for us, time for me to start being more credible for an incredible King rather than try to be something incredible ourselves by our own strength.
Sunday, January 2, 2011
Chronicles of Iridescence, Chapter 106: (RE)New
Alright, so it's a new year.
New arrangements, new faces, new challenges, new heartaches, new breakthroughs, new resolutions, new blessings.
Not all things are completely new, though, as I've found out.
Dreams are REnewed and with it, certain hopes.
The promises that I didn't or couldn't keep...I was REminded of them.
The dead visions were REvived, though not completely.
The aspirations were REvitalised, even though it might seem hard to follow through on them right now.
Though how I still wish certain things can be RE-winded, but it has passed. There probably isn't any human being on earth that can ask for the seasons to be re-winded to spring when they are experiencing winter.
------------------
Resolutions? Quite a few, I think.
Confidence is one. I've never been good at socialising still. The feeling of being left out still hasn't left, nor the idea that I have to try really hard just to squeeze out five minutes of proper conversation compared with how others can easily dive straight into twenty minutes' worth of fun-filled topics and jokes.
Doesn't hurt to keep trying, though. Maybe the day that I get it is the day I get a partner too. Hey, it's not a crime to be a little more optimistic, right? =)
Other than that...To simply start walking down the path leading to my dreams and leading to growth.
Sounds simple, but let's not bore everyone with complicated stuff.
New arrangements, new faces, new challenges, new heartaches, new breakthroughs, new resolutions, new blessings.
Not all things are completely new, though, as I've found out.
Dreams are REnewed and with it, certain hopes.
The promises that I didn't or couldn't keep...I was REminded of them.
The dead visions were REvived, though not completely.
The aspirations were REvitalised, even though it might seem hard to follow through on them right now.
Though how I still wish certain things can be RE-winded, but it has passed. There probably isn't any human being on earth that can ask for the seasons to be re-winded to spring when they are experiencing winter.
------------------
Resolutions? Quite a few, I think.
Confidence is one. I've never been good at socialising still. The feeling of being left out still hasn't left, nor the idea that I have to try really hard just to squeeze out five minutes of proper conversation compared with how others can easily dive straight into twenty minutes' worth of fun-filled topics and jokes.
Doesn't hurt to keep trying, though. Maybe the day that I get it is the day I get a partner too. Hey, it's not a crime to be a little more optimistic, right? =)
Other than that...To simply start walking down the path leading to my dreams and leading to growth.
Sounds simple, but let's not bore everyone with complicated stuff.
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