I flunked them all about how to give up.
Not sure how most people would take this, but it feels positive to me for some reason. This could possibly be one of the first times I ever felt positive about failing at all!
In all honesty, not giving up can go both ways. There are certain things that are probably better off given up, while there are others that aren't. It's not easy to differentiate though, and that's where the ear-pulling, chair-standing and hand-smacking with the ruler comes in.
In the education system of the present, most parents would consider it horrific torture to have their sons and daughters treated this way as though they were prisoners enclosed in a deceptively disguised jail decorated with nice creeds and colorful banners highlighting the achievements of the place, and immediately summon their voices of reason to deal with the insidious interrogators in order to free their beloved children from the clutches of evil.
....Alright, I'm sorry. I just have a penchant for exaggerated stories. But it's fun though...Just that most people can't understand the entertainment behind it. Maybe that's why most writers are misunderstood to be aloof, cold people who prefer to coop themselves up in a cabin high up on the Himalayas to write page after page of nonsensical jargon with-horrors of all horrors-a 17th century quill.
Exaggeration AND digression aside, the lesson on giving up is a hard one. Sometimes we think there's no turning back, and walk the wrong way. Sometimes we give it up, only to discover if we had hung on a little more, just a little more.
Interestingly, there were many times I felt like giving up, and it so happened that when I was feel like that that I saw a tweet from a friend that said something like this:
"When you feel like giving up, remember what and why you hold on for so long in the first place."
That struck me hard, and every now and then you need this kind of things to strike you really hard - sometimes physically, if necessary - to make sure you wake up and return to what you originally fought for for so long. And that was the second hook that woke me up.
The first one, of course, being someone close to me reminding me that I had, in a way, outlasted some to be where I am today. The effort I put in was for a purpose or a goal, and in a way such a time of encouragement told me that I had, in times of uncertainty and trouble, let it slip slightly from my grasp.
Thankfully I got hold of it again, though I might have committed some mistakes today...
But still, at least I'm on the right track. Doubts are still fresh. Rather, they always come back, but at least there's a reassurance so great that I cannot help but weep in joy and disbelief, only to accept that it had to be real. The details are a little intimate, so let's stop here until I allow anyone past my boundaries.
Not that I don't trust people. I do...Which is why I only say some things to certain people, because I know they will keep their word and keep the silence till the time is right to speak or let others know, at their own discretion. Secondly, it feels as though they would understand it better too.
But if you don't ask, then....If there's no first step, how can there be a second?
In His case, it's no longer a ruler. It's a rod. A thick one. Silly as it seems, I'm thankful for the thickness of it, else my stubborn, "He-hor-ing" (complaining) nature would never have seen a change.
Despite the reassurances, I still feel somewhat down, but at least it's just temporary. The hurt has to come. The suffering I have to bear, if for the sake of becoming what I want to be, and what He wants me to be.
It's the moulding process, but I feel like I'm on the verge of something, because the flames from the furnace is already torching my ass. It's going to be real hot when I go into the fire then.
But maybe at that time I can learn how to read the providential activity of God.
I can come forth as a gold vessel, ready to accept the oil and the wine.
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
Chronicles of Iridescence, Chapter 47: meaningful Meaningful
Did a facial today and some shopping. Managed to get a nice pair of loafers/shoes - or whatever you call them - at Pedro's for a 30% discount. =DD Praise the Lord for GSS!!!
Had a good long chat with my aunt - She's the one who did my facial, you see - and surprise surprise...Though I was speaking mostly in monosyllables at the start, conversation about the Bible, about family, about relationships, about past troubles and mainly about God opened up my mouth and brightened up my day quickly.
Coupled with the knowledge from a book about conversations, it was interestingly true that sometimes being a good listener is more important than waxing lyrical on many subjects. In a sense, you can call this 'studying'. It's like poring over tons of books for the next exam in two months' time while not talking or discussing with your fellow classmates about it, especially if it's new material.
In another, appropriate sounds and responses as well as gestures show that you are listening, even if some part of you might indicate you aren't.
And in that, a fruitful discussion soon followed. I find it exceedingly fruitful and fun to talk with my aunt about all the past failures we had and the changes that were put in place. Being the young adult, I did pour out a little on the troubles I have as all young adults would face. I'll leave you to guess what kind and ask me for clarification, or just take it that you are correct. Sadly, usually the latter happens. Haha...
Adding a capital letter often tells us that the word there is the start of a sentence, or that it's a name, obviously something important. In this case, I would think that it's both. Revelation from the talk (or chatter, as you think it to be between relatives) obviously marks new chapters in certain parts of my life, as well as making certain things more important than ever before.
And a new pair of shoes. Hurray! My old pair is wearing out, though I still love them.
------------------
After experiencing an interesting day, I've had doubts answered. Yet there were doubts still that were unconfirmed, things which I thought were wrong to pray about or pray for...But it looks like I have to do that before attempting to clear the stages in my current level.
No, I'm not talking about any game. It's something serious that is to be considered, and sometimes even though the negative words seem to stand out more when I consulted my few close friends and relatives about it, I need to think about the positive things that were said, and that the few things that - according to the Word - lasts forever will always be there for me when I need them.
To tell the truth, those negative things do put me off a little, even if I don't admit it. Who wouldn't be put off? It sometimes feel as though people are denying that you have any chance at all in winning the championship. It sometimes feel as though people are pulling you down through the earth when you haven't even began attempting to fly towards the skies. It sometimes feel as though others feel that even before you try to start, you are going to fail.
Yet on the other hand, I know the advice is well-meaning. Good reality checks are always needed, and frankness the order of the day. If they thought that I'm not ready (which I truly am not ready), then they would tell me. If they thought that I could possibly be setting myself up for a fall, then they would tell me.
Just wished that the positives can come before the negatives more times though. Lesser 'What ifs' that dwelled on the supposed futility of things and certain scenarios...I don't mind them because they provide the earth for which I can rest my feet on rather than put my head in the clouds all day long.
But hearing it over and over and over again...
It does get kinda draining.
Was I too naive in thinking that I could receive a little more encouragement, or perhaps I myself have been dwelling on the negative things? If the latter is true, thank God it isn't as much as it was last time. (You can ignore the former, though, since I probably received enough encouragement already.)
Or perhaps I'm just another smaller cog in the machinery, not the main one?
That's the problem with being too aloof at times and attempting to be different in your earlier days. People shun you even though you can strike up conversations with them. Friends often forget you even though you make them laugh or feel happy or bless them with your talents.
Thank God that has all changed...Or rather, is starting to change. (And if you have the privilege to ever look at my private blog, you will soon know what I'm talking about).
So more than that, I need to retreat into my quiet time. Spend more time talking, listening, receiving from God. Truth to be told, there were certain, really important things in my life right now that I haven't prayed for, because some well-meaning (mostly good, mind you) advice has told me to let go and let God take charge for a while.
Haven't been hearing much about it afterwards, so perhaps it's time to do something new.
Perhaps it's time to put the capital M in the meaningful once more.
Had a good long chat with my aunt - She's the one who did my facial, you see - and surprise surprise...Though I was speaking mostly in monosyllables at the start, conversation about the Bible, about family, about relationships, about past troubles and mainly about God opened up my mouth and brightened up my day quickly.
Coupled with the knowledge from a book about conversations, it was interestingly true that sometimes being a good listener is more important than waxing lyrical on many subjects. In a sense, you can call this 'studying'. It's like poring over tons of books for the next exam in two months' time while not talking or discussing with your fellow classmates about it, especially if it's new material.
In another, appropriate sounds and responses as well as gestures show that you are listening, even if some part of you might indicate you aren't.
And in that, a fruitful discussion soon followed. I find it exceedingly fruitful and fun to talk with my aunt about all the past failures we had and the changes that were put in place. Being the young adult, I did pour out a little on the troubles I have as all young adults would face. I'll leave you to guess what kind and ask me for clarification, or just take it that you are correct. Sadly, usually the latter happens. Haha...
Adding a capital letter often tells us that the word there is the start of a sentence, or that it's a name, obviously something important. In this case, I would think that it's both. Revelation from the talk (or chatter, as you think it to be between relatives) obviously marks new chapters in certain parts of my life, as well as making certain things more important than ever before.
And a new pair of shoes. Hurray! My old pair is wearing out, though I still love them.
------------------
After experiencing an interesting day, I've had doubts answered. Yet there were doubts still that were unconfirmed, things which I thought were wrong to pray about or pray for...But it looks like I have to do that before attempting to clear the stages in my current level.
No, I'm not talking about any game. It's something serious that is to be considered, and sometimes even though the negative words seem to stand out more when I consulted my few close friends and relatives about it, I need to think about the positive things that were said, and that the few things that - according to the Word - lasts forever will always be there for me when I need them.
To tell the truth, those negative things do put me off a little, even if I don't admit it. Who wouldn't be put off? It sometimes feel as though people are denying that you have any chance at all in winning the championship. It sometimes feel as though people are pulling you down through the earth when you haven't even began attempting to fly towards the skies. It sometimes feel as though others feel that even before you try to start, you are going to fail.
Yet on the other hand, I know the advice is well-meaning. Good reality checks are always needed, and frankness the order of the day. If they thought that I'm not ready (which I truly am not ready), then they would tell me. If they thought that I could possibly be setting myself up for a fall, then they would tell me.
Just wished that the positives can come before the negatives more times though. Lesser 'What ifs' that dwelled on the supposed futility of things and certain scenarios...I don't mind them because they provide the earth for which I can rest my feet on rather than put my head in the clouds all day long.
But hearing it over and over and over again...
It does get kinda draining.
Was I too naive in thinking that I could receive a little more encouragement, or perhaps I myself have been dwelling on the negative things? If the latter is true, thank God it isn't as much as it was last time. (You can ignore the former, though, since I probably received enough encouragement already.)
Or perhaps I'm just another smaller cog in the machinery, not the main one?
That's the problem with being too aloof at times and attempting to be different in your earlier days. People shun you even though you can strike up conversations with them. Friends often forget you even though you make them laugh or feel happy or bless them with your talents.
Thank God that has all changed...Or rather, is starting to change. (And if you have the privilege to ever look at my private blog, you will soon know what I'm talking about).
So more than that, I need to retreat into my quiet time. Spend more time talking, listening, receiving from God. Truth to be told, there were certain, really important things in my life right now that I haven't prayed for, because some well-meaning (mostly good, mind you) advice has told me to let go and let God take charge for a while.
Haven't been hearing much about it afterwards, so perhaps it's time to do something new.
Perhaps it's time to put the capital M in the meaningful once more.
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
Chronicles of Iridescence, Chapter 46: Hardships and Hardheads
*WARNING*: FRUSTRATION POST AHEAD.
There you have it...So if you have really been following this blog at all, at least you know when to turn off the browser window.
Regret, gloom, frustration.
Been battling with these three emotions for as long as I've been self-aware, meaning that it's the time where I have some inkling of an idea of where I'm headed towards and what my core purposes in life are.
Today is a good day. It really is. But ultimately, it left me feeling rather glum.
Things that seemed so mundane to everyone, perhaps even to me, and things that happened for the past few days and weeks...The accumulation of them all can be rather devastating if you don't take care of it or guard your own heart jealously.
Simple things like not getting replies, like feeling I'm still not part of the group, like being unable to learn and grasp hold of things quickly....Sometimes even feeling like I'm not really needed to liven up an atmosphere.
Sometimes it feels like I needn't bother about working hard in certain issues, because the common sense that has accompanied me for my teenage years tells me that it's fruitless, that I'm chasing after a lost cause or a dream that would be shattered into a million pieces like a flower made of glass thrown upon the cold, hard surface of the reality about society and human hearts.
But one quality or characteristic I have that helps me stay sane throughout this period proves to be the one of the most irritating ones, even to myself.
Hardheadedness.
I refuse to believe in giving up, something I have done repeatedly when I was a teenager. However, when my foray into becoming a school athlete (and thus gain recognition from parents, friends and girls alike AT THAT TIME) failed, the hardheadedness (a nicer word would be determination) vaporised.
In other words, that's my key excuse for seemingly always talking about 'my' experiences, or 'I' have done this or 'I' have done that. Call it delayed Attention-seeking personality disorder if you will.
It's getting to be quite the problem. At least for me. I'm not sure if other people think like that as well, since I often feel ignored, or left out, and attempt to talk whatever and whenever I can, which can sometimes ultimately result in putting others off and the cutting of conversation, even in a group....So if you're reading this and even if it's really hard, I hope you understand.
Back on topic. Basically that's it. I'm a donkey, though not the best of them all. Still, That's what I am, in more ways than one. I won't give up. Can't give up, because I certainly did not work so hard just to fall behind and away now, even though things aren't going my way.
There's always the possibility of taking shortcuts, of course...Like giving up A to pursue B if both can supposedly give you a similar sense of satisfaction and fulfillment. But what's the point of all that hard work, then? What's the point of building it up, only to rush into things, make a hash of it and see your own hard work crumble or having to take a shortcut that would leave you feeling empty in the end?
It's the same, if not similar, for everything. For friendship, for love, for creative endeavours, for knowledge gathering, for wisdom increment...Everything.
And I do know that when Hardheads clash with Hardships, it's really, really going to be very painful and arduous.
But what the heck....It will definitely get better in the end.
I just know it.
There you have it...So if you have really been following this blog at all, at least you know when to turn off the browser window.
Regret, gloom, frustration.
Been battling with these three emotions for as long as I've been self-aware, meaning that it's the time where I have some inkling of an idea of where I'm headed towards and what my core purposes in life are.
Today is a good day. It really is. But ultimately, it left me feeling rather glum.
Things that seemed so mundane to everyone, perhaps even to me, and things that happened for the past few days and weeks...The accumulation of them all can be rather devastating if you don't take care of it or guard your own heart jealously.
Simple things like not getting replies, like feeling I'm still not part of the group, like being unable to learn and grasp hold of things quickly....Sometimes even feeling like I'm not really needed to liven up an atmosphere.
Sometimes it feels like I needn't bother about working hard in certain issues, because the common sense that has accompanied me for my teenage years tells me that it's fruitless, that I'm chasing after a lost cause or a dream that would be shattered into a million pieces like a flower made of glass thrown upon the cold, hard surface of the reality about society and human hearts.
But one quality or characteristic I have that helps me stay sane throughout this period proves to be the one of the most irritating ones, even to myself.
Hardheadedness.
I refuse to believe in giving up, something I have done repeatedly when I was a teenager. However, when my foray into becoming a school athlete (and thus gain recognition from parents, friends and girls alike AT THAT TIME) failed, the hardheadedness (a nicer word would be determination) vaporised.
In other words, that's my key excuse for seemingly always talking about 'my' experiences, or 'I' have done this or 'I' have done that. Call it delayed Attention-seeking personality disorder if you will.
It's getting to be quite the problem. At least for me. I'm not sure if other people think like that as well, since I often feel ignored, or left out, and attempt to talk whatever and whenever I can, which can sometimes ultimately result in putting others off and the cutting of conversation, even in a group....So if you're reading this and even if it's really hard, I hope you understand.
Back on topic. Basically that's it. I'm a donkey, though not the best of them all. Still, That's what I am, in more ways than one. I won't give up. Can't give up, because I certainly did not work so hard just to fall behind and away now, even though things aren't going my way.
There's always the possibility of taking shortcuts, of course...Like giving up A to pursue B if both can supposedly give you a similar sense of satisfaction and fulfillment. But what's the point of all that hard work, then? What's the point of building it up, only to rush into things, make a hash of it and see your own hard work crumble or having to take a shortcut that would leave you feeling empty in the end?
It's the same, if not similar, for everything. For friendship, for love, for creative endeavours, for knowledge gathering, for wisdom increment...Everything.
And I do know that when Hardheads clash with Hardships, it's really, really going to be very painful and arduous.
But what the heck....It will definitely get better in the end.
I just know it.
Sunday, July 4, 2010
Chronicles of Iridescence, Chapter 45: Of Patterns and Dreams
It's interesting to note that while we don't know most of the time why certain things happen, there's a pattern to them.
It so happens, though, that the pattern is rather...lopsided for me right now.
For God, the blessing usually comes after a long period of barrenness.
Things don't happen at all during these times. Nothing seems to work. Dreams and visions are taken away or blurred (as is the case currently), prayers don't feel as though they were being answered. People ignore you, your effects go unrecognized and worse still, sometimes it doesn't even seem to matter if you try at all or not while at others, it seems like you moved forward a little, and suddenly, you're abruptly back to square one. Sometimes no matter what you do, it just isn't good enough. It just doesn't work.
But after that, the blessing rains down upon you.
Changes, no matter how minute, occur. Things that place you closer to the next level start falling into place, even though square one still doesn't seem so far behind. You start feeling that the prayers are heard. You start seeing old and new dreams and visions, some of them with modifications that cannot be explained by the human mind and logic. Suddenly you realise that people have been taking notice of you, just that they don't really speak out. But when they do, you feel so, so encouraged and loved.
Conversely, the Devil also attempts to work the same way.
Right after a bout of blessing, or after a dream is given, or after hope is renewed, he always attempts to put doubt. Is this really what you want? Are you sure you efforts are going to bear any fruition? Look at this person! He doesn't even answer you! Look at that person! She isn't even interested in you! Look at yourself! You call yourself a Christian? A human? How little you are, and yet you still attempt to take on so many things beyond your capabilities?
Give it up!
In both situations, the things said are different. It is sometimes difficult to identify which is the trial, and which is the doubt....Though the ultimate difference seems to be the traces of accusation found in either.
Trials have little accusations, while Doubt is obviously full of it.
Sometimes you are met with silence in Trials. Met with your own doubts about the abilities you have to fulfill certain things or pass certain trials or attain certain...dreams. But ultimately there is no prevalent, accusatory voice in all those.
Having been through tumultous times and looking back at them, before losing control, there would always be accusations abound.
And though God is good, the trials come hard and fast too....Perhaps because I prayed for it, and He gave it to me.
Just not directly.
Moulding takes time. Moulding takes effort. Moulding requires sacrifice and pain and discomfort to be felt.
And I'm actually thankful for that moulding right now...Even though it hurts sometimes.
It so happens, though, that the pattern is rather...lopsided for me right now.
For God, the blessing usually comes after a long period of barrenness.
Things don't happen at all during these times. Nothing seems to work. Dreams and visions are taken away or blurred (as is the case currently), prayers don't feel as though they were being answered. People ignore you, your effects go unrecognized and worse still, sometimes it doesn't even seem to matter if you try at all or not while at others, it seems like you moved forward a little, and suddenly, you're abruptly back to square one. Sometimes no matter what you do, it just isn't good enough. It just doesn't work.
But after that, the blessing rains down upon you.
Changes, no matter how minute, occur. Things that place you closer to the next level start falling into place, even though square one still doesn't seem so far behind. You start feeling that the prayers are heard. You start seeing old and new dreams and visions, some of them with modifications that cannot be explained by the human mind and logic. Suddenly you realise that people have been taking notice of you, just that they don't really speak out. But when they do, you feel so, so encouraged and loved.
Conversely, the Devil also attempts to work the same way.
Right after a bout of blessing, or after a dream is given, or after hope is renewed, he always attempts to put doubt. Is this really what you want? Are you sure you efforts are going to bear any fruition? Look at this person! He doesn't even answer you! Look at that person! She isn't even interested in you! Look at yourself! You call yourself a Christian? A human? How little you are, and yet you still attempt to take on so many things beyond your capabilities?
Give it up!
In both situations, the things said are different. It is sometimes difficult to identify which is the trial, and which is the doubt....Though the ultimate difference seems to be the traces of accusation found in either.
Trials have little accusations, while Doubt is obviously full of it.
Sometimes you are met with silence in Trials. Met with your own doubts about the abilities you have to fulfill certain things or pass certain trials or attain certain...dreams. But ultimately there is no prevalent, accusatory voice in all those.
Having been through tumultous times and looking back at them, before losing control, there would always be accusations abound.
And though God is good, the trials come hard and fast too....Perhaps because I prayed for it, and He gave it to me.
Just not directly.
Moulding takes time. Moulding takes effort. Moulding requires sacrifice and pain and discomfort to be felt.
And I'm actually thankful for that moulding right now...Even though it hurts sometimes.
Friday, July 2, 2010
Chronicles of Iridescence, Chapter 44: Helpfully Hapless
Don't ask why.
It just suddenly feels like there are a lot of things going on right now, all around me. Some even to me.
Thank God I could deal with some of them, but for those that I can't do much about, I feel really...
Hapless.
Like a babe who has yet learned to swim, yet being surrounded by expanses of water. Like a man who knew not the direction, yet being in the midst of a thorny maze. Like the elderly who could not remember where he was, yet had to make his way down the stairs to get the medicine for his heart condition.
Utterly hapless.
I wonder if Edward felt that way when Bella was freezing miserably in the tent during a snowstorm. I wonder if Jacob felt like that as well when all he could do was protect her instead of being the person he wanted to be to Bella. (Both scenarios are from Twilight: Eclipse)
I wonder if I'm feeling as hapless as they did in the movie/novel.
The most pressing issues for me can't be shared, unfortunately, even though this has turned out to be more personal a blog than I intended it to be. There involve not just myself, but also others. Things that I have sworn (okay, maybe not that drastic, more like promise...) secrecy to cannot be revealed, though a few people others might know about it and perhaps are concerned in their own way.
Not worried, no...Because time and again I've always decided that things will turn out fine, somehow. I'm just concerned, and even more so when I realise that despite what I feel, I can't do much, even if I really, really want to. I'm not in the situation where I can do much.
Ultimately, I guess it's up to God, and the people involved. Decisions must be made. As it was mentioned earlier this week, Self Renewal is needed before everything can fall in place. I just hope that this might somehow help people to do that, or perhaps even to encourage them, even though the cynical voices would snort and say, "Who are you kidding? No one's reading this?"
But I believe that somehow my efforts and feelings can be transmitted to the people who might need them. I've been encouraged, helped and edified.
Just want to do the same for everyone. For them. For you.
After all, it's really better to give than to receive, and I firmly believe in being blessed to be a blessing, in whatever way possible.
If my or any other people's human efforts fail, then gotta wait patiently for to God move. Mightily. Refreshing, renewing and restoring you and you and you and I.
It just suddenly feels like there are a lot of things going on right now, all around me. Some even to me.
Thank God I could deal with some of them, but for those that I can't do much about, I feel really...
Hapless.
Like a babe who has yet learned to swim, yet being surrounded by expanses of water. Like a man who knew not the direction, yet being in the midst of a thorny maze. Like the elderly who could not remember where he was, yet had to make his way down the stairs to get the medicine for his heart condition.
Utterly hapless.
I wonder if Edward felt that way when Bella was freezing miserably in the tent during a snowstorm. I wonder if Jacob felt like that as well when all he could do was protect her instead of being the person he wanted to be to Bella. (Both scenarios are from Twilight: Eclipse)
I wonder if I'm feeling as hapless as they did in the movie/novel.
The most pressing issues for me can't be shared, unfortunately, even though this has turned out to be more personal a blog than I intended it to be. There involve not just myself, but also others. Things that I have sworn (okay, maybe not that drastic, more like promise...) secrecy to cannot be revealed, though a few people others might know about it and perhaps are concerned in their own way.
Not worried, no...Because time and again I've always decided that things will turn out fine, somehow. I'm just concerned, and even more so when I realise that despite what I feel, I can't do much, even if I really, really want to. I'm not in the situation where I can do much.
Ultimately, I guess it's up to God, and the people involved. Decisions must be made. As it was mentioned earlier this week, Self Renewal is needed before everything can fall in place. I just hope that this might somehow help people to do that, or perhaps even to encourage them, even though the cynical voices would snort and say, "Who are you kidding? No one's reading this?"
But I believe that somehow my efforts and feelings can be transmitted to the people who might need them. I've been encouraged, helped and edified.
Just want to do the same for everyone. For them. For you.
After all, it's really better to give than to receive, and I firmly believe in being blessed to be a blessing, in whatever way possible.
If my or any other people's human efforts fail, then gotta wait patiently for to God move. Mightily. Refreshing, renewing and restoring you and you and you and I.
Chronicles of Iridescence, Chapter 43: Eclipsing the Struggle
If you wonder about the title, it simply means that I've went ahead to watch that.
Yes, ladies and gentlemen (maybe 'fellow netizens' would be a safer term, though), I'm talking about none other than Twilight: Eclipse. Watched it today after a grueling three hours window shopping (though I did eventually buy DVDs that I didn't really need, but should provide plenty of entertainment and opportunities to exchange with other friends) and having a great meal at Cafe Cartel with my usher section friends (Love ya guys!! Even if you aren't reading this. =D)
Movie wasn't as bad as I thought, though I bet many people can't wait to disagree with me depending on whatever helps them rate the movie. I have to admit, the cast was selected very well. Never seen the second movie, but I got a gist of it from newspaper reviews, forum posts and the dialogue from characters during the third one.
Nothing spectacular about the storyline or ground breaking for plot, but it was a nice execution. There was more action this time round (perhaps there was already more in New Moon, but I haven't watched it, so yeah), making it a little more balanced rather than just carrying it on with dialogue filled with saccharine sweet nothings, something that definitely was never in lack at any point in time.
Still, I found meaningful things, like how Bella and Charlie communicated, and how the awkwardness was played out when they touched on certain topics (Loved the part about Charlie asking Belle if she was still....a virgin), how Bella and Mom communicated, and how Bella and Jacob interacted. The tone used, the usage of kinesics a.k.a body language for the characters as well as the words...Not bad.
Another thing that entertained me were the verbal jabs and obvious signs of jealousy and rivalry between Werewolf Hunk (Jacob) and Vampire Dude (Edward). A titter here and there punctuated the theatre, echoing certain thoughts on how humorous it can seem at times, especially the one where the two of them had a little HTH talk.
Edward: "You know, if you weren't my mortal enemy and if you weren't trying to talk away my reason for existence, we might have been great friends."
Jacob: "You know, if you weren't going to suck the life out of the person I love and if....Ah, forget it."
Something along those lines, so this doesn't constitute as too much of a spoiler, hopefully. =P
And that struck me as funny, because in our terms, it is clear who is more mature and who has experienced more things. One could say that Edward has a clear, even unfair advantage in that, but it really depends...Because he also has plenty of disadvantages, things that Jacob simply can't wait to point out.
If there was anything I want to praise the characters for continuously, it's the gentlemanly spirit Edward showed throughout the entire movie (perhaps the entire three movies even, though his overprotective tendencies can be a little tedious to watch). Now that kind of a man, with those looks, with that charisma, with that spirit of caring for the one he loves so much that he's willing even to sacrifice his own feelings for her...Not sure if we can find more than fifty of them in this country.
Myself excluded. Just for now, I hope. =)
But it's definitely something we can all learn from. Like what I've always thought: Even in entertainment, there's always a lesson to learn.
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Today was really fun. Talked about all kinds of stuff with usher friends, and very so nearly became the topic of gossip till someone else cut in.
Never have I been so grateful for the interruption, because that was a sensitive topic that always gets me stammering like a five year-old attempting limericks even adults couldn't do.
But no worries...I'll share in due time, though it might not be as interesting as they think it would be. When the time is right.
in any case, it really did eclipse the struggles I've been having the past few days...Things that are a little personal right now, but again will be shared with certain people in due time.
What I can say, though, is that confusion, frustration, shame and disappointment are the negative emotions I've felt.
Not that I'm completely struck down, because though I may stumble, I will not fall. Though I may really need that kind of 'do or die' resolve for certain things.
Because what we do not treasure, we will lose.
I don't want to lose those things. Emotions. Opportunities. Hopes. Passion.
More than that, I don't want to lose the dreams. Dreams that I have for certain things, and dreams that were given to me. More than ever before, I really do need to start learning how to see God's providential activity. That - as a good friend said - though we do not see Him there, it does not mean he isn't there.
He's moving, working, always.
He loves us, always.
And as I've heard quite a number of people mention, love ultimately triumphs over all.
Even Edward and Bella had shown that time and again in the show, and definitely in the novels.
So....What do I do, then, when there's inactivity and irritation?
Two things to remember:
1) I prayed for patience, so there you have inactivity and irritation to make me MORE patient.
2) Love triumphs over all, in the end. So just gotta keep loving God and loving people, whoever they are to me.
So....Anyone up for another movie with romance and preferably comedy with that? =))
Yes, ladies and gentlemen (maybe 'fellow netizens' would be a safer term, though), I'm talking about none other than Twilight: Eclipse. Watched it today after a grueling three hours window shopping (though I did eventually buy DVDs that I didn't really need, but should provide plenty of entertainment and opportunities to exchange with other friends) and having a great meal at Cafe Cartel with my usher section friends (Love ya guys!! Even if you aren't reading this. =D)
Movie wasn't as bad as I thought, though I bet many people can't wait to disagree with me depending on whatever helps them rate the movie. I have to admit, the cast was selected very well. Never seen the second movie, but I got a gist of it from newspaper reviews, forum posts and the dialogue from characters during the third one.
Nothing spectacular about the storyline or ground breaking for plot, but it was a nice execution. There was more action this time round (perhaps there was already more in New Moon, but I haven't watched it, so yeah), making it a little more balanced rather than just carrying it on with dialogue filled with saccharine sweet nothings, something that definitely was never in lack at any point in time.
Still, I found meaningful things, like how Bella and Charlie communicated, and how the awkwardness was played out when they touched on certain topics (Loved the part about Charlie asking Belle if she was still....a virgin), how Bella and Mom communicated, and how Bella and Jacob interacted. The tone used, the usage of kinesics a.k.a body language for the characters as well as the words...Not bad.
Another thing that entertained me were the verbal jabs and obvious signs of jealousy and rivalry between Werewolf Hunk (Jacob) and Vampire Dude (Edward). A titter here and there punctuated the theatre, echoing certain thoughts on how humorous it can seem at times, especially the one where the two of them had a little HTH talk.
Edward: "You know, if you weren't my mortal enemy and if you weren't trying to talk away my reason for existence, we might have been great friends."
Jacob: "You know, if you weren't going to suck the life out of the person I love and if....Ah, forget it."
Something along those lines, so this doesn't constitute as too much of a spoiler, hopefully. =P
And that struck me as funny, because in our terms, it is clear who is more mature and who has experienced more things. One could say that Edward has a clear, even unfair advantage in that, but it really depends...Because he also has plenty of disadvantages, things that Jacob simply can't wait to point out.
If there was anything I want to praise the characters for continuously, it's the gentlemanly spirit Edward showed throughout the entire movie (perhaps the entire three movies even, though his overprotective tendencies can be a little tedious to watch). Now that kind of a man, with those looks, with that charisma, with that spirit of caring for the one he loves so much that he's willing even to sacrifice his own feelings for her...Not sure if we can find more than fifty of them in this country.
Myself excluded. Just for now, I hope. =)
But it's definitely something we can all learn from. Like what I've always thought: Even in entertainment, there's always a lesson to learn.
-------------------------------
Today was really fun. Talked about all kinds of stuff with usher friends, and very so nearly became the topic of gossip till someone else cut in.
Never have I been so grateful for the interruption, because that was a sensitive topic that always gets me stammering like a five year-old attempting limericks even adults couldn't do.
But no worries...I'll share in due time, though it might not be as interesting as they think it would be. When the time is right.
in any case, it really did eclipse the struggles I've been having the past few days...Things that are a little personal right now, but again will be shared with certain people in due time.
What I can say, though, is that confusion, frustration, shame and disappointment are the negative emotions I've felt.
Not that I'm completely struck down, because though I may stumble, I will not fall. Though I may really need that kind of 'do or die' resolve for certain things.
Because what we do not treasure, we will lose.
I don't want to lose those things. Emotions. Opportunities. Hopes. Passion.
More than that, I don't want to lose the dreams. Dreams that I have for certain things, and dreams that were given to me. More than ever before, I really do need to start learning how to see God's providential activity. That - as a good friend said - though we do not see Him there, it does not mean he isn't there.
He's moving, working, always.
He loves us, always.
And as I've heard quite a number of people mention, love ultimately triumphs over all.
Even Edward and Bella had shown that time and again in the show, and definitely in the novels.
So....What do I do, then, when there's inactivity and irritation?
Two things to remember:
1) I prayed for patience, so there you have inactivity and irritation to make me MORE patient.
2) Love triumphs over all, in the end. So just gotta keep loving God and loving people, whoever they are to me.
So....Anyone up for another movie with romance and preferably comedy with that? =))
Thursday, July 1, 2010
Chronicles of Iridescence, Chapter 43: Stagnation Imagination
The dreaded word.
I feel like I've stagnated, somewhat, despite the signs of progress made.
Maybe I need someone to give me a good kick in the behind again, because it seems like whenever I start to rev up, obstacles appear, and I slow down, sometimes grinding to a halt.
Not that only I suffer obstacles to pass. Everyone else does, in one season of their lives or another. I'm just wondering if there can be more to it than there is right now.
Again, I do realise I'm no genius, so I've stopped bashing myself over the head with a sledgehammer about how slow I am in learning things in two weeks, things that usually take others twice or thrice the amount of time.
Thing is, the hammer I'm using now, though not made with a metal head, is still a hammer. Though it's the toy kind. Not too bad....Right?
The only thing that seems as though it's eternally moving is my imagination. Dreams come unbidden, good and bad ones - as my previous post would attest to. Visions still do, though not as clearly. Maybe I might even have lost sight of it till I start moulding one part of my life properly first.
He gives and takes away. All praise to him, all the same.
Because he's only taking it away from me for the time being, so I can concentrate. Why do I know this?
Simple. I just...know. To explain it would be revealing a bit too much, something that I'll only say if you ask. Nicely. If you even read about this, that is. =P
-------------------------
Is it my imagination?
Probably not. After all, I did had that realization long ago. Maybe I'm just in denial, hoping that that isn't really the case. That what I've done is not putting the ammo into the double-barreled shotgun that was meant (and hopefully NOT fated, but by accident) to shoot myself in the foot.
Certain...changes I saw today confirmed that. I think. And that sullen feeling sets in once more.
Was it like that? Could it be that I've helped my own cause onto the path of destruction?
So confusing....Which is why I've decided to put my imagination to better use.
Considering how the fengshui master that came today said that I was very 'straight' (as in direct, frank, unyielding/stubborn), I've decided to just stay true to myself.
Worry not about how circumstances of others can affect you, but how you can overcome them as well as make your own situation better.
Be true.
And let my imagination do the rest in good dreams and visualization. That way, I really won't be distracted....And I can concentrate on the important things to me.
"WAIT for the LORD; Be strong and take heart and WAIT for the LORD." Psalms 27:14
"I will WAIT for the LORD, who is hiding his face from the house of Jacob. I will put my trust in him." Isaiah 8:17
I feel like I've stagnated, somewhat, despite the signs of progress made.
Maybe I need someone to give me a good kick in the behind again, because it seems like whenever I start to rev up, obstacles appear, and I slow down, sometimes grinding to a halt.
Not that only I suffer obstacles to pass. Everyone else does, in one season of their lives or another. I'm just wondering if there can be more to it than there is right now.
Again, I do realise I'm no genius, so I've stopped bashing myself over the head with a sledgehammer about how slow I am in learning things in two weeks, things that usually take others twice or thrice the amount of time.
Thing is, the hammer I'm using now, though not made with a metal head, is still a hammer. Though it's the toy kind. Not too bad....Right?
The only thing that seems as though it's eternally moving is my imagination. Dreams come unbidden, good and bad ones - as my previous post would attest to. Visions still do, though not as clearly. Maybe I might even have lost sight of it till I start moulding one part of my life properly first.
He gives and takes away. All praise to him, all the same.
Because he's only taking it away from me for the time being, so I can concentrate. Why do I know this?
Simple. I just...know. To explain it would be revealing a bit too much, something that I'll only say if you ask. Nicely. If you even read about this, that is. =P
-------------------------
Is it my imagination?
Probably not. After all, I did had that realization long ago. Maybe I'm just in denial, hoping that that isn't really the case. That what I've done is not putting the ammo into the double-barreled shotgun that was meant (and hopefully NOT fated, but by accident) to shoot myself in the foot.
Certain...changes I saw today confirmed that. I think. And that sullen feeling sets in once more.
Was it like that? Could it be that I've helped my own cause onto the path of destruction?
So confusing....Which is why I've decided to put my imagination to better use.
Considering how the fengshui master that came today said that I was very 'straight' (as in direct, frank, unyielding/stubborn), I've decided to just stay true to myself.
Worry not about how circumstances of others can affect you, but how you can overcome them as well as make your own situation better.
Be true.
And let my imagination do the rest in good dreams and visualization. That way, I really won't be distracted....And I can concentrate on the important things to me.
"WAIT for the LORD; Be strong and take heart and WAIT for the LORD." Psalms 27:14
"I will WAIT for the LORD, who is hiding his face from the house of Jacob. I will put my trust in him." Isaiah 8:17
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