There's a reason why Avoidance and Running away have negative connotations.
To Avoid mainly means not wanting to engage in any conflict. It speaks of a non-confrontational attitude and stance.
That's not too bad, right?
Well, in some cases, it is good, isn't it? Being peace-loving, not wanting to cause conflict, tension and a widening gap between people....It is good.
But when it comes to dealing with the issues at hand, Avoidance becomes a big No-no.
Especially when one knows that certain things arise again and again AND again, in similar situations, but apparently hasn't changed their attitude towards it. And it is actually wiser to deal with it than to Run away.
You reap what you sow, after all. Lessons, sometimes enriching and mostly painful, should have taught most of us that since our fallible nature causes us to make mistakes over and over again.
And that is why I feel that the mistakes we all make, especially in Avoiding things we should be taking care of and Running away because it infringes on our comfort levels, will eventually return to HAUNT us all, especially if this becomes a habit for us.
Think about it - When it comes to issues that you are uncomfortable with and sometimes even exposes your flaws to yourself and others and you keep on running and hiding from it. If you make it a habit to do it with friends and the people around you, what about the people in the future?
Your future friends? Romantic partner? Spouse? In-laws? Children? Mentors?
That is when Regret sets in, and the feeling of Regret is as horrible as it comes when you know you should have done something earlier, but it has become so strong a habit that you can't break it.
So....What? Turn back the clock? Scream your frustration? Continue on this dreary path? Always keep to oneself because societal and cultural norms dictate that it is extremely shameful to share such things?
On the other hand, perhaps these habits were a result of traumatic past experiences, and we ourselves are trying our very best to get rid of these habits. Sometimes you just can't reach a breakthrough and tell the skeptical and overly concerned people around you that you are trying your best, or again, attempt to Hide behind a cheery mask (Nothing wrong with that, but there's the danger of making it a habit).
You know what?
It's okay.
Most importantly, one should know that no matter how old or mature one is, there are always flaws and there is always room for improvement.
That's perhaps one of the greatest flaws of intellectual adults, whether they are young or old.
We think we know best. We think we know it all. We think that this or that isn't a flaw, just a part of our real personality and self.
Well, flaws ARE part of our personality and self.
Yes, we can ask others to accept us for who we are, but the main Question is...
Are we trying our very best to change not for others, but for ourselves after knowing that those are flaws?
Are we ready to put aside our own pride and become open to teaching and advice from older, more mature people, and perhaps even younger ones?
I know I want that, though it isn't easy.
But whoever said that good things come easily?
Don't give up.
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Up till now, it puzzles me sometimes...When one talks/rants about trust and personal privacy and rights and whatnot, I've always wanted to ask this question (but did not, for fear they are sensitive to that):
"Have you told others about your boundaries? No? How do you EXPECT them, then, to know those are the boundaries? That that is your definition of trust? Your definition of privacy?"
It's a tricky issue for people who look bright and cheery and crazy on the outside, but hides a rather different self inside.
Well, I think we should get one fact straight.
NOT EVERYONE CAN READ MINDS.
Well, perhaps a select few, but even those are extremely rare.
Yes, there are things you can share and there are things you can't, (The complex key to this is balance, of course) but again, have you thought about what it means when you start saying someone doesn't trust you and misunderstands you grossly, especially if that someone is a friend?
No, seriously...Have you really, REALLY thought about it?
I think it would be natural for others to worry when you start exhibiting behavior different from what you portrayed to others, no?
And when THEIR actions are enacted and YOU think they tell you a different story....
Who's misunderstanding who now?
A little heavy, isn't it?
To end on a more positive note, so glad to be going to church tomorrow. Despite the madness of the week and the strange things happening - things that have to do with a breakdown of something -, at least I can look forward to something.
Here's hoping to an improvement and a better day.
For you and me.
For everyone.
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