God approached the first one. "My son, I was wondering if you would like to start writing in your own book of life."
The first teenager was startled. "But God, aren't you the one who writes it out for us? Didn't you have everything planned for us already?"
"That I do, for I know everything that has happened, is happening and will be happening in your life, but do you want to write your own story for the future?"
Tentatively, the teenager took the hardcover book from God's hands and opened it. Though it looked small, the pages never seem to end when the teenager flipped through it. The first several dozen pages of the book were filled with every single moment of his life, described in good detail, but when he came to the end of those pages, everything else was blank.
"No...No, that is wrong. Aren't you supposed to be the one? I can't do it. I won't do it....This is too much for me!" As he spoke, the teenager fled from God's sight.
God then approached the second. ""My daughter, I was wondering if you would like to start writing in your own book of life."
"Of course!" The second teenager almost jumped in delight upon hearing that. Just as the first teenager did, she flipped through the pages once through, but kept the book with her.
"Yes, I would love to write in it!" Without another word, she rushed off happily, unable to contain her excitement at what would essentially mean that she could create a perfect life for herself.
God came to the third one, who also had the same reaction as the second teenager, a boy gifted in many areas, including writing. The fourth, however, looked unsure when God asked of him the same thing about writing in his book of life.
"Lord, I'm sorry for doubting, but why do you ask of us to write in our own books?"
"My son, that is something that I'll tell you eventually. For now, are you willing to do as I ask?"
"Of course...But is there a way I can contact you?"
"Why do you need my contact?"
"In case there's anything I don't know, Lord...Or in case I make some mistakes with my writing."
God then gave him a number to call, and the fourth teenager thanked him as he left.
Several years later, God decided to check up on the teenagers who had been offered the chance to write their lives out. He appeared before the second teenager, who is sitting in one of the alleyways in the slums of the city.. She looked at him first in surprise, then with suspicion.
"....Who are you?"
God replied. "It is I, the one who first gave you the opportunity to write your life out in the book. I have come to see your progress."
"Oh, that thing...Left it somewhere at home, I think. No idea where I put it."
"What happened?"
"I've no idea, Mister. Halfway through somethin' screwed up, I guess. No inspiration, no energy to keep it up because of daily stuff. Stupid people in my life here and there, and doesn't feel like I got anyone to ask for help from."
At the same time, God made his way to the third teenager, now a single parent. God found him angrily punishing his children for dirtying the floor accidentally. As he approached, the young man turned around and scowled.
"What do you want?"
"My son, how goes your writing in the book of life?"
"Oh, that...It's been good, I feel. It's just that sometimes it doesn't tally. You gave me a faulty book, damn it."
"What of it that does not tally?"
"Whatever I write in it, most of it does not tally. Even though I tried time and again to believe in what I written, many times it just doesn't come true, so I decided to depend on myself instead. I've got talent, anyway."
"Then why is it that you scold your children so vehemently for the slightest mistake?"
"Shouldn't you be asking yourself that question? If not for my talents and abilities, I would be rotting on the streets. If not for my assertiveness, that bitch would have taken custody of my two children a long time back. If not for my abilities..."
As the man continued ranting, God's cellphone rang. He waited a short while before picking it up.
"Yes?"
"Lord? Is it okay if I send the book to you again for editing?"
"Of course, my son. Send it to me whenever you feel like it. I love to read about what you've done."
"Thank you, Lord."
Curiosity got the better of the man and after the call ended on a positive note, he finally asked.
"Who was that, God?"
"He is the fourth person that I brought my offer of writing in his book of life to."
Curiosity soon turned to resentment and the scowl immediately slithered its way onto the man's face. "Why does he have your cellphone number? Do you favour him because of something he has that I don't have?"
"No, my child. He is much less talented than you are. He does not have a stable job or income, nor is he married yet."
"So why is he able to call you? He's just so....normal!"
"My child...you never asked. If you asked, I would have helped you with the book, as and when you like. However, seeing as you want it, I shall leave my number on your table." He wrote the number on a small piece of paper and left it on his desk, as promised.
There was one last person to see, and God quickly made himself known at the residence of the very first teenager He had appeared to, now a man who was currently busy with household chores after being retrenched from work.
"My child, I have come."
Upon seeing him, the man dropped everything and knelt before him. "Lord, I was wrong. I'm sorry for letting go of the responsibility for my own life. I'm sorry for not listening to you-"
God immediately helped him up. "You are forgiven, my child. As long as you have repented, all is well and good. I have come not to ask an apology of you, but to give you a gift."
"What is it, Lord?"
God produced the book of life he had offered the man several years back and replied, "This has been kept for you, my child, and for no other. This opportunity is still yours, and for no other. I extend the book to you once more, child. Will you accept it?"
The man nodded, his eyes moist with emotion, not trusting himself to speak lest he lost his composure. He gingerly took the book from God's hands and stared at it for a long time before finally finding his voice.
"How could I ever deserve this, Lord? Aren't there people out there who deserve this so much more?"
God smiled softly. "My son, that is because I love you. Now, why don't you continue the story, and strive to write the ending?"
--------------------------
Many times, it really feels like we are the writers, and God is the editor. Of course, Him being omnipotent takes all the fun out of the surprises we might have in store for any human editor looking at our life stories, but that's just God.
-Sometimes, like the first teenager, we refuse to believe and reject the notion that we should be putting in effort or simply fear the repercussions of taking a strange new path. But God is there for us, and can help to bring us back to Him. He might even be knocking on the doors of our hearts constantly, a soft, constant side, hoping that we'll open up to let him in to fellowship with us.
-At others, some of us might feel like the second teenager. Full of passion and zeal, ready to do the things God has asked us to do, but ultimately failing because our enthusiasm overwhelmed all else, including His voice. Eventually the passion wears off. We get confused, unsure. Sometimes we even fall away because of the lack of belief.
-The third teenager is extremely talented, yet chooses to go his own way. This refers directly to a few people I know, though I won't speak of their names. Strange situation, yet true. Talented, given an opportunity or a dream or a vision, but in the end, meeting with obstacles, difficulties, trials and tribulations. Feeling that the current situation runs a contradictory course to what God has promised us, and simply falling away and refusing to trust in Him, instead relying on our own abilities.
Talents and abilities can take us very, very far. But there's only a certain amount of distance we can travel before those things run out of gas. If so, perhaps it's time to dial the number God has left behind for us. Start picking up the Bible again. Start praying again. Draw near to God, and He will draw near to us.
-The fourth is a personal favorite, because it depicts a teenager who, despite his lack of ability, his lack of faith, his doubt and the uncertainty he faced, still goes through with what God has offered to him. More than that, he deign it necessary to get closer to God, to know his number so that he knows what he should do, or what he should be editing for the story to turn out well.
All the fourth had was obedience. Eventually leading to faith, and confidence.
I know perfectly which one I am right now, but the situation's tight. Pressed in from all sides, I wonder if I'll ever get through this. Having to deal with the past isn't easy, especially if God wants me to be cleansed thoroughly.
In effect, it isn't as easy as saying 'don't worry too much' or 'you're thinking too much'. It's good to hear people trying to encourage or comfort in that way, even if it was just one sentence, but ultimately it's not about my desire to think about it. Who likes to think about negative stuff?
It's a need.
I have to face them.
I need to face them.
And stop running away from them.
So rather than focusing on the possible things God has for me, perhaps it's more feasible to adjust my line of sight back down to earth, take on the sandstorms of the desert and draw the sword God has given to me to slay the giants in my path.
So many giants....Where's my ending? Where's the golden-paved road leading away from the limitless expanse of dryness and heat? Where's the hope? Will I ever feel so terrible at being ignored or left out again? Will I always face the same kind of trials throughout my life?
God knows.
As much as it feels terrible and that it's really a hard time for me, let's just say that perhaps these are my biggest trials I've ever faced, with every single thing from the past assailing me. I don't know if you understand, but I hope you can at least empathise and put up with any possible nonsense coming from me for the next....for the time being.
Who knows when this is going to end?
God does.
Just have to keep trusting in him and try to keep on keeping on, no matter what.
~ "When grey clouds cover your horizons, always remember that blue skies await behind." ~
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