Sometimes it's the smallest things that make you wonder whether you can-no, whether my King (or yours) can make things happen, especially when it's been so, so long since I've seen anything at all happening immediately. Especially when you're in a time of transition, transformation and transfiguration.
Or so I hope. No more nerdy glasses! No more lame bags! No more lousy sense of fashion! No more wardrobes dominated by hand-me-downs! No more twig-like arms and legs!
Or so I hope.
Okay, I digress. Had a terrible thunderstorm beating on me with its winds like clubs. Nearly tore the lithe little green brolly from my grasp, which inadvertently led to me enjoy a little of those raindrops I always wanted to...Only not during this period. A flu would be seriously damaging to me at this period of examinations.
And that reminded me of this:
http://www.comp.nus.edu.sg/~hchia/funny.html
Another attempt at humor, though this time it's borrowed.Gotta find those GIFs somewhere. Looking at them always makes me want to laugh.
(DISCLAIMER: I am NOT responsible for any kind of similar attitude YOU might have when you enter university. So there.)
On with the story, yes?
Rain can get you down sometimes, especially when you're late for a prayer meeting because of another 'rare' track fault whenever the skies cry. I tried reading my notes, but there was this nagging thought at the back of my head that wouldn't go away. After fruitlessly staring at the same slide for 15 minutes, I decided to listen to that inner part of the mind.
Lo and behold, one person popped up in my mind. Being something of a pragmatist, I waved that thought away quickly, not wanting to get distracted. I returned to my notes and found some small measure of success. The thought came flying back right after I memorised some aspects of cultural policy for cultural industries.
This time, like the gullible little fishy, I bit the bait.
The idea was simple: All I wanted was to see that person and I asked my King for that. Just one, simple wish that would calm my mind and prepare me to pray to him with more focus. Pragmatism and hope did a little tug of war and the former won by a small margin.
I won't see that person...Nah, it's too improbable. There's no way that person would be appearing just like that, not when that person's errand was a little later than the time I would take to reach the interchange...right?
Getting off the train with those thoughts still lingering in my mind, Hope made a tiny comeback and I thought it wouldn't hurt just to keep a lookout.
Guess what? I saw that person. Sad thing is, it was too crowded and like many other commuters rushing. Guess I should have asked for an opportunity to talk.
But it was enough. Strangely, my mind calmed down and focus came naturally and to my 'utter horror', I found myself smiling naturally.
Sometimes, we just have to take that one step to believe. Even at the very last moment, where we have been mired deep in disbelief, sometimes we just need to believe and ask. Specifically.
And just that alone made my belief that much stronger.
I'm not going to back down. I'm going to keep believing and believing. Even though it might seem impossible now, even though it feels like I can't make it at times. If obstacles come, I'll keep fighting and fighting till I attain my victory.
In a sense, someone might get hurt. All I know is that I won't be the one. When the time comes, I shall be that much stronger. I shall be that much more emotionally and mentally stable that truly, no weapon formed against me shall prosper. Ever.
Seize the kairos moment. Carpe Diem.
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