Hmm.
Maybe I've been taking everything a little too seriously nowadays.
Things to do for other people, things for myself, the signs that I see...Whatever they are.
And maybe it's the Pace that's making this happen. The pace at which I'm moving towards that one goal.
I keep getting the feeling that whenever I talk or think about this, I'm getting ahead of myself. Yet that does not seem completely so.
"Ask, and you shall receive."
Maybe this is really the granting of one desire I had at the very start of the change in the seasons earlier on, and that makes me realise that all the things happening around me, in cellgroup, with my friends, with my relationships, with my own personal life...The supposedly setbacks are truly part of the King's plan.
Having experienced little in society, perhaps this is his way of moulding me. Placing me in situations that were so disadvantageous at times that I had to think about why I was here, doing the things that I'm supposed to do, yet not being able to see beyond the figurative darkness.
Making things happen such that I can grow...
Sometimes I feel slightly guilty. Is it because of my wish, my desire that others are facing their own crises suddenly?
But that's the worst kind of mindset to have. (1) This is where I REALLY am getting ahead of myself if I think that way. (2) As the Word says, all things, and truly ALL THINGS work for the good of those who love him. (3) Furthermore, I remembered what Pastor Tan had shared much earlier, that everyone has a season. Everyone has a day and night, and they don't occur at similar timings just because it seems fair or 'right'.
Slapping some sense into yourself can be refreshing. And fun. You should try it sometime. =P
But more than that, it feels like I'm picking up the pace. I did ask to be able to catch up, and here I am...The speed is picking up. Direction is another, more delicate matter, though.
Feels like I took a different direction when I made (or rather, did not make) the decisions I did at the beginning of the change in the season. But perhaps I'll take that detour the king has for me, that longer time I need for him to help mould me so that I can be more ready.
And at the end, perhaps it really is as I've seen it: People, things, blessings waiting for me at the next fork in the road of life.
"For he who asks receives, he who seeks finds, and to he who knocks, the door shall be open."
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