Faced my first real setback today.
Why real? Because it hurt really, really bad. And like Samson, like a fool, I realised that today I had been playing with fire. I had been stupidly careless with what was given to me.
No more.
Not when His presence feels so strong. Not when I'm finally, finally getting things right. It's amazing how even though it seemed that you had been struck by a curse, He is there immediately to lift you right back up.
It's an amazing thing really. Months ago, I wouldn't have believed it. I wouldn't have spoke so confidently with the reassurance that despite walking through the valley, I could res easy in the knowledge that my King would be my rod and staff.
I really need to read more of the Word since I can't remember where the verse came from except that it's Psalms. More importantly, what I derived from the rod and staff is this:
-The Rod is meant to beat your enemies away. After all, the King is my sheperd. Our sheperd.
-The Rod is also used to discipline. Maybe not so apt in the walk in the valley, but what happens if you keep doing dead works? Something must be done eventually to wake us up, and the Rod is used for such a time.
-The Staff is something for us to lean on, for support. When we tire, when we feel like we can't go on, when it feels like our legs are on the verge of collapsing, that our belief can no longer sustain us, the Staff appears right before us, and we can lean on it. We may stagger, but our King moves with us as we do, supporting us all the way.
-The Staff also serves to draw us back. When we get lost, when we lose the energy and wander off onto the wider path, it serves to prod us back gently onto the right path.
And that's why I begin to start feeling thankful. Even though I felt down, I believed...And He lifted me back up.
Even though I felt nauseous, I believed...And He healed me.
Even though I could hear the taunting voices again, urging me not to go, I spoke out against them and believed...And He casted them out of me.
Even though I felt as though my beliefs were fading and my lack of confidence returning, I spoke out against them and believed...And He renewed my mind, my body and my heart.
And once again, I'm reminded of the good things He had done, of how much He has changed my life when I first came in, feeling a tad bit too sorry for myself and always holding a grudge against the world. I'm reminded of the effort I had put in, that everything was for the future. Even though the human mind could comprehend nary a thing, He knew.
And that....Is enough. Though two words could never be spoken enough ever to Him.
Thank you.
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