Pek Chek

Yeah, I get frustrated. Even more so when people tell me that their problems are bigger than yours.

Look, I'm not here to compare when I talk about it. If that's one of the latter things you say, I'm fine with it. Don't throw it out immediately just like that. It makes me feel stupid for telling you my problems. It makes me look like an idiot for even talking. Most of all, it makes YOU look bad, because it feels like you're brushing people off with that kind of attitude.

It's difficult right? Sure is, and I understand that. I also understand the need for humans to keep comparing. So please understand where I'm coming from when I start to compare. Again, difficult, but if there's effort, at least that makes the other party feel better.

Offer a solution. Offer a listening ear. Give advice. Don't just brush the problem off like that. At least you can offer consolation.

And secondly, just wanted to say this...It takes two hands to clap.

I've been told to improve, get to know some people. Well, effort was put in and tries were made. Mistakes too, though hopefully nothing irreversible. What happens if the other party doesn't want to respond or worse still, seems to be ignoring you, even if it's just small, mundane talk? And on one front, the other party talks with you fine and on the other, almost seems like a total stranger.


Really, did I do something wrong? At times I wonder if it's really just me, or if my oversensitive thinking is actually spot-on this time. The signs are there. Reality is there, mocking away.

BUT the King isn't there. He isn't there to put a hand out to stop me. He isn't there to laugh at me. He isn't there to tell me that I'm utterly and completely wrong about what I saw, figuratively (if you know what I mean). All He has done is comfort me with his presence, encourage me with the visions and dreams, affirm them with His Word and forgive, forgive, forgive, forgive, forgive, forgive and forgive.

"Never mind...Let's try again...This is what you did wrong, so make sure not to make the same mistake....I understand how you feel, so let's do this together..."

Not exactly the same words, but you get the idea.

Maybe it's the Night, so I need to give it a rest on a certain issue. Concentrate on other stuff and let the King flow strongly again, like a flood, washing away all the obstacles, near and far. Cleansing my heart, inside out. Bringing peace and joy, through and through.

Maybe this was how David felt when he was surrounded by his enemies. Or how Gideon felt when he was tasked to lead his people to victory when they were hopelessly outnumbered. Or how Moses and Elijah suffered from depression because the very people they wanted to help and know more about turned their backs on them. When nothing was going their way, when the odds were stacked heavily against them.

And when there was only one person they could turn to.

It's really difficult, because on one hand, I want to work towards that goal and...well, there are circumstances that involve other things. On the other, I want to really trust in the King against all these odds that were borne from the circumstances as well as from within.

Despite that, I really hope I won't have to feel so Pek Chek anymore soon.

And somehow I've left the original issue behind altogether. HURRAY FOR DIGRESSION!